Minty and Disturbing
by Endings Matter Most
Summary: Riku began to panic. He looked at Sora, and then looked at Kairi's retreating form. Since he knew how stubborn Kairi was, he charged after her, prepared to beg like he'd never begged before. riku/kairi; one-shot


Minty and Disturbing

**Minty and Disturbing**

Okay… I sort of found my muse… just trying something out...

This contains SLIGHT, only SLIGHT yaoi…boy/boy stuff. Nothing graphic… oh GOD no… I actually had a hard time writing. I think it was just the couple that I had to write… I mean, I didn't _have_ to, but I do need some practice with it. Something like this is going to be the birthday present for one of my good friends… ugh, writing this was slightly disturbing. SO to make up for it, this is Riku/Kairi… and I for one think it's a cute, funny little one-shot.

I promise you it's not a serious boy/boy thing… it's purely comedic… and I think it's funny, so even if it's not your thing, it's not my thing either… so that just tells you that it doesn't go anywhere.

* * *

Kairi was seventeen years old. She was a junior, and damn it, she knew how to drive. She was an adult, a grown-up. She was now responsible for herself… almost. Another year and she would be on her own. Her parents weren't going to go everywhere and do everything for her anymore.

Riku, Sora, and Kairi were together one afternoon, just sitting on the beach and hanging out. Kairi watched the boys spar together and laughed each and every time Sora complained because Riku kept "cheating."

"You know…" Kairi said suddenly. "I think it's time I go to the dentist."

Sora snorted and lowered his play sword. "The dentist? Really, Kairi, you've got to be kidding me." He responded.

Kairi narrowed her eyes at her friend. "What?" she asked. "I haven't been since I left to find you two, and it's about time I go again."

Sora rolled his eyes and plopped on the ground in front of her. "Kairi, you can't go to the dentist without your parents. They have to hold your hand and to talk you through it."

Riku kicked Sora onto his side with his foot. "Shut up, Sora." He told his friend. "If Kairi wants to go to the dentist, then she can go to the dentist."

"Yeah," Kairi agreed. "Besides, I'm practically an adult! I can go to the dentist without my mommy and daddy, thank you very much."

Sora sat back up and glared at Riku. "Yeah, okay Kairi, sure you can." He challenged her. "If you make it to the dentist without your parents… I'll…" he paused, at a loss of what to offer.

"Kiss Riku." Kairi smirked.

Riku hopped up and away from Sora. "Uh, yeah okay, you'd have to get _me_ to agree to that!" Riku said with disgust apparent in his face.

"Done." Sora agreed.

"Undone!" Riku retorted.

"Done!" Kairi laughed.

"Are you kidding me?" Riku asked. "I'm _not_ kissing Sora. Sorry, I don't roll that way."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "_You_ don't have to kiss _him_, _he_ has to kiss _you_."

"I'm not going to _let_ him kiss me." Riku said slowly, trying to get it to sink in.

Sora laughed. "Don't worry about it, Riku!" He told him. "She's not going to get to the dentist without _someone_ having to hold her hand and sit in that room with her."

"Yes. I. Am." Kairi said firmly.

"No. You're. Not." Sora smiled.

"I agree with Sora…" Riku said, looking in between his two friends. "But for my sake."

"Nope, sorry Riku." Kairi shrugged and hopped up. "I'm going to go right now."

Sora smirked and settled down on the beach in a comfortable position. "Good luck." He said, believing his victory already.

Kairi huffed at him and began to march up the beach. Riku began to panic. He looked at Sora, who was laughing, and then looked at Kairi's retreating form. With another glance at Sora, since he knew how stubborn Kairi was, he charged after her, prepared to beg like he'd never begged before.

Riku slammed his hand on the driver's side of the car, causing the door to shut. Kairi glared up at him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"You're _not_ going to make me kiss Sora." Riku told her. "I'm not kissing him. I just won't do it. If he even puckers his lips at me, I swear I will kill him."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Riku, I'm not losing this bet. He's going to have to kiss you. You don't have to do it voluntarily."

"I. Don't. Care!" Riku replied. "I do not want his lips even _close_ to mine!"

"Please, Riku!" she begged. "For me?" she batted her eyelashes at him.

He rolled his eyes. He moved around to her other side and opened the door to her car and got in the driver's seat. "Get in." he told her, motioning to the passenger's seat.

She almost protested, but then thought better of it and moved to the other side beaming. "Thanks—"

"Don't thank me." Riku cut her off. "I don't even see why you need to go to the dentist anyways. You're teeth are perfect."

Kairi blushed but said nothing as Riku backed the car up and sped into town.

* * * * *

When they got to the dentist office Kairi suddenly felt the weight of her fears. She hated the dentist. It was her least favorite place to go and to be. She dreaded the day when her own children needed to go to the dentist and _she_ would have to sit there with them and hold _their_ hand.

Riku looked at Kairi's face. "You know you don't _have_ to do this." He reassured her.

"Are you saying that because you know I'm scared or because you really don't want to kiss Sora?" she asked, glancing at him.

"Both." He admitted. "And I really, _really_ don't want to kiss Sora…"

She laughed. "Don't lie, Riku. You _know_ you want some Sora."

Riku pretend to throw up. "All the time." He gagged. "Nope… nope, I can't even joke about that."

She laughed again, but stiffened up as she signed in to go next; turns out that no too many people came to the dentist on a Wednesday afternoon. Riku put an arm around her shoulder as she joined him in the waiting chairs. "You'll be fine." He whispered in her ear. "But I'll go in there if you want me to… that way I won't have to kiss Sora…" he winked at her.

Kairi narrowed her eyes at him. "I'll do it _alone_, thank you." She said. Then silently, she gulped. What had she gotten herself into?

They waited in the empty waiting room for ten minutes. Neither spoke a word, but that's mostly because Kairi was specifically not speaking to Riku.

"Kairi?" the dentist opened the door to the back room with a clipboard in his hand.

She stiffened. "Yeah… here." She replied.

"Come on in," he smiled. He _seemed_ nice enough. Dentists were sneaky people though. "It's you're turn."

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "Coming." But she didn't move. The dentist smile, obviously knowing he didn't need to push her. Riku was there for that.

"Kai?" Riku asked.

"Yeah," she asked breathlessly.

"You didn't move." He told her.

"What…" she asked, looking down. She turned and smiled at him. "Yeah, I was just… kidding with you, you know?"

"Do you need a helping hand?" Riku asked with a smirk on his face.

Kairi sighed. "Riku… I…"

He shook his head. "It's no big deal. You'll be in and out in three seconds. You're teeth are fine. They are pearly white, you know?"

"It doesn't hurt to check…" Kairi muttered.

"Kai, c'mon." Riku stood and offered his hand. "Let's get your teeth checked."

"But Riku—" she began to protest, but took his hand anyways.

"I'll take care of Sora, don't worry." Riku smiled.

She hesitated, and then stood beside him. "You'll be fine." Riku assured her. She let him lead her into the back room to where she thought hell was about to come alive.

* * * * *

"See?" Riku asked. "No harm done." He grinned as they climbed back into the car.

Kairi was rubbing her jaw. Nothing had really happened to her, but she felt that it was a necessary action to do after leaving the dentist office. She was so concentrated on that, she forgot to protest when Riku once again took the driver's seat.

"What are you going to tell Sora?" she asked.

"That your teeth are fine and perfect, just like I said they would be." He replied, keeping his gaze fixed on the road.

"No… I mean… about me…" she said. Riku continued his act of playing confused "About me not going into the office alone and not… not having anyone there."

"Oh that." Riku raised his eyebrows.

"Yes that." Kairi huffed.

He was stalling.

"Hm… yeah, I dunno about that." Riku shook his head. The dentist office was not far from the beach. He didn't have to stall for very long.

"Riku, come on." Kairi rolled her eyes.

"Kairi, I'm driving." He said as his excuse.

"What does that have to do with what we're talking about?"

Riku's foot slipped down on the pedal. The car accelerated. Less time to stall she imagined. "I have to concentrate. I _am_ going over the speed limit."

"Then slow down." She offered, knowing that he'd just speed up.

After another minute or so of this bickering, Riku pulled up to the same spot where Kairi had parked her car before. He turned to her and smiled then got out of the car. She narrowed her eyes at the closing door and then quickly fumbled out of the car.

"Riku, I'm really kind of fed up with you!" she said, going around the back of the car to face him. He was standing with a smile on his face, looking at where Sora was sitting, facing the opposite direction from them. Apparently he didn't hear Kairi's arguing. "You have this attitude that you never seem to get rid of. Just tell me for goodness sake!"

Riku turned to face her and smirked. "Why do you not already know the answer?"

"I'm just waiting for you to say 'I told you so'." She retorted.

"_That_ would be Sora's job." Riku laughed.

"Well I'm waiting for some kind of cocky reaction!" she told him.

The next thing she knew, Riku had wrapped one arm around her waist and had pulled her toward him. With his free hand, he combed through her hair and pulled her head forward, mashing his lips to hers. After the initial shock disappeared, Kairi wrapped her arms around his neck, forgetting that this was _Riku_ of all people, and what she was bickering about.

He smiled into the kiss and for a moment, it looked like he was never going to part with her. But then his lips left hers, but his embrace did not falter. Kairi threw a glance over her shoulder. Sora's back was still to them.

Riku leaned forward and his lips brushed her ear as he whispered, "I must love you _a lot_."

She was about to say something back, but Riku had already let her go and was walking to where Sora sat. "Hey dumb ass!" he called to his friend.

Kairi, bewildered, followed after him quickly, stumbling a little.

Sora turned around and was already smiling. "So?" he asked, holding the "oh" sound out for a little too long. "How did it go?" once again the "oh" was held out.

Riku laughed. "You wouldn't believe it, but she did all by herself." He lied. "She signed up, waited and then walked right into that office and got her teeth checked. I told her that her teeth would be perfect _anyways_ but she told me that it didn't hurt to check."

Sora gaped at him and then turned his gaze to Kairi. She was still rather dazzled, which was probably okay considering where she'd just come from. She nodded. "Yep… all by myself." She agreed.

Sora stuck his tongue out in disgust. "You know I was kidding about before, right?"

"Nope." Kairi shook her head, coming to her senses. There was no way he was getting out of this one. "Let me see your kiss-kiss face."

Riku's face was equally disturbed, if not more. Sora stood and winced at his best friend. "Aw, come on, Kairi…" he began to plead.

Kairi just smirked and sat down in the sand, waiting for a show. "And since I was so brave and all, I vote for a full on, passionate, I-Love-You kiss." She giggled.

"Well you're the only one that has that side of the vote." Sora grumbled.

"Too bad." She shrugged. "I make the rules since I won the bet."

Sora looked at her like she was his mother who just told him that he had to eat all of his beans before he could have dessert. "Kairi…" he held the "e" sound out for far too long, but all she did was shake her head.

Riku frowned at her and Sora looked at Riku, not really sure what to do next. "Uh…" Riku turned to his friend and nodded.

"I think it'll be safe to say that our friendship will be totally ruined and obliterated after this. Do you agree?" the silver headed teen asked.

"Absolutely." Sora nodded and waited for Riku to make a move.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "You're not really expecting _me_ to make the first move, are you? You got us into this mess."

"So I think you should be the one to get us out." Sora smiled hopefully.

Riku smiled for a moment and then frowned suddenly. "I don't think so, Sora. You got your ass into trouble and dragged mine along with you."

"I didn't ask for ass, Riku." Sora snorted at his sexual joke.

Riku jumped at him with his fist held high, but Sora grabbed his hand before it made a connection with his face. "Riku, come on, it's not like I'd want that." Sora laughed, lowering his fist. "I mean… you're probably a terrible kisser anyways… if I asked for ass from you…" he shuddered with a grin on his face. "It would be just a horrible experience."

Kairi was not fooled by this, and it seemed that Riku wasn't either. In _fact_ he was calling Sora out on that. "Sora, you wouldn't know what a good kisser was if it hit you right smack dab on the lips. I mean… I don't even have to kiss you to _know_ that you're horrible at it. I mean… the rumors at school are sometimes quite appalling…"

Sora's eyes were wide. "What?" he asked. "I haven't… I mean… holy _shit,_ are you kidding me?" he asked.

"Nope." Riku shook his head. "You're the _last_ person any girl… or guy for that matter wants to kiss." He grinned. "But _me_…"

Sora glared at him. "I hate you." He said.

"Yeah well, no one at school does so—" Riku was suddenly cut off by Sora's lips smashing against his.

Riku jumped back, but Sora had a tight hold on him. Kairi was clasping her hands across her mouth to keep from puking _and_ from cracking up.

The two friends toppled onto the sand, but Sora still didn't let go. He stayed on top of Riku, trying to move his best friend's lips in synch with his own. Riku was too disgusted to do anything. Kairi was on her side to keep from breaking the silence on the beach with her peals of loud laughter.

Finally, it had been too long, and Riku shoved Sora off of him, shooting upward and retreating for the ocean. He reached the edge of the waves and fell over, rolling around in the water trying to cleanse himself. "I'm tainted!" he screamed. "And I hate you all!"

Kairi finally let go of her laughter and clutched at her sides instead of her mouth. "How's _that_ for good kissing?" Sora shouted at him, but Riku continued rolling in the water wiping his mouth.

Eventually, Kairi settled down enough to go and join Riku. She stopped him from rolling around and pinned him to the ground. "Stop it." She laughed.

"Damn…" Riku said, gazing up at her through his wet silver hair. "I must really _love_ you."

Her eyebrows met once more, but she was once again interrupted by Sora tackling her gently. He laughed as she was soaked by a crashing wave, but she remedied that by splashing the salt water into his open mouth.

Sora sputtered the water out. "Aw, Kairi!" he complained. "Now I have a bad taste I my mouth. I had a good one before…" he paused then laughed again. "Riku, you taste good!"

Riku splashed more salt water into his mouth. "Well now you have a bad taste in your mouth just like I do, you bastard!"

"No I'm serious!" Sora grinned. "You tasted like… I dunno… like mint or something!"

Riku snorted and winked at Kairi. "It's my natural man-taste." He said, sitting up.

Kairi shoved him back into the water and Sora laughed again. "What's mine?" he asked.

"EW! SORA!" Riku exclaimed, tackling Sora.

"AH! Come on, Riku!" Sora shouted. "I know that I was a good kisser, but if you still want to give me that ass, then we need to find somewhere private!" That earned him a good kick in the groin.

"Now you won't have children." Riku smirked.

Sora rolled over and gasped in pain. Riku began to think he kicked too hard, but all the jokes that Sora was pulling earned him that. "Come on, Kairi." He said offering his hand to her.

She rolled her eyes and helped Sora up. "Stop being such a baby." She told him.

"It's not my fault." Sora whined.

She rolled her eyes again. "We should go. It's getting late and plus we are all soaking wet."

Sora opened his mouth to crack another joke about _that_ particular comment, but Riku got there first. "Don't you do it, Sora; I swear that I will murder you."

Sora smirked, but closed his mouth.

When the three got to their cars, Riku all but threw Sora into his car, even when the door wasn't opened. "You don't have to be so pushy!" Sora told him through the window as he started the car. "Well… unless you—" But the look on Riku's face made him stop midway through.

Kairi laughed and Sora grinned. He drove away quickly before Riku could open the door and throw him out then run him over.

Kairi looked up at Riku. "Thank you." She told him.

He grinned at her, his eyes softening. "Yeah… you're lucky." He said.

She nodded. "I know."

"Next time you're going in alone, okay?" he told her, but he would be there just in case she really didn't want to.

"Yeah okay…" she agreed, knowing that he'd be there.

Kairi hadn't realized that the whole time they'd been moving closer to each other with every statement. Riku smiled as he looked down on her. He brushed some wet hair out of her face and smoothed it back into place with her other locks of hair. He stroked her cheek then bent down and placed a sweet, romantic kiss on her lips.

Then, once again, he brought his mouth to her ear, his lips brushing it ever so lightly, and whispered, "I really _do_ love you."

Without another word, he turned around and got into his car. He paused then rolled down the window and leaned out to her. "And I really like the toothpaste the dentist used. It's good. Minty-fresh is the best kind." Then he drove away.

Kairi stood there for a moment then smiled. Finally, she too climbed into her car and drove home.

* * *

Hope you liked it!!! ... and thought it was funny...

Katie


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